Captain’s Log – Stardate 1034.55. A ship-wide system failure has struck all navigational devices and computer servers on the Enterprise. Commander Data has being signed off sick with a hardware malfunction brought on by stress. I’ve retired to the holodeck to let off some steam by dancing with some showgirls from those old Westerns that were popular on the planet called Earth many centuries ago. We have learnt our lesson in trusting Windows 7.