“If you don’t take good care of your credit, then your credit won’t take good care of you.”
As the Gifville energy crisis of 2015 began to bite, ingenious locals soon devised new ways to keep their appliances switched on without plugging into the grid. Local amateur scientist Haim Ster, from Israel, enlisted the help of his pet hamster Sari and her wheel to keep his phone on the blink. Clever man!
Why bother with a boring, run-of-the-mill, ‘everyone-else-does-it-too’ paper CV when you can sweeten up your potential employer while making them feel oh-so nostalgic. Turn your CV into a specially packaged Pez dispenser with your aesthetically-pleasing mug on it. Available in a choice of flavours and styles, this CV/candy combo will be sure to get your phone ringing off the hook and set your sorry jobless broke ass apart from the other down-and-outs. Send a cheque for £250.00 and a recent passport photo and paper CV to: Jobcentre PEZ, PO Box L33T, Gifville, WordPressLand. Also works for bribing recruitment agents.